ItsAPundit

And so are you

October 12, 2007

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Satire By John W. Lillpop

Former Vice President Al Gore's efforts to save the planet finally paid dividends when he was able to triangulate a phony non-issue into a Nobel Peace Prize, a mockery of sex near me science that Gore shares with a UN panel.

With this spectacular achievement, Gore has gained the love and adoration of billions of people across the globe who yearn for a strong leader with the spiritual and moral credentials to lead the world out of the environmental quagmire created and perpetuated by G.W. Bush.

Above all else, Al Gore has taken the high road in doing something positive to change America's tattered image as a collection of 300 million over consuming, overweight spoiled brats who view the rest of the world as America's garbage disposal, ashtray, and septic tank.

Thanks to Al Gore, the world is starting to realize that there is indeed a good and gracious side to Americans.

Because of Al Gore, the world realizes that we care about more than money, sex, football, and 80- inch plasma televisions.

Al Gore has single-handedly reinvigorated the notion that Americans are among the most noble and trustworthy citizens on earth.

Next to inventing the Internet, and losing the 2000 election to a non-English speaking cow poke from www.femalefantasies.co.uk Texas, winning the Nobel Peace Prize is the most remarkable event in the life of American hero Al Gore.

During the time that Al Gore has been dazzling the world with his spiritual and moral superiority, Hillary H2H Dating Clinton continues her relentless drive toward being the most corrupt politician ever to run for elective office.

Hillary's associations with the likes of Norman Hsu, Sandy Berger, and Slick Wille only serve to reinforce her image as the woman whom people instantly like, but come to www.sexcum.co.uk despise once they get to know her better.

If there were a female Darth Vader in American politics, it would surely be Hillary Clinton.

From a partisan political perspective, Al Gore's latest triumph will inevitably catapult him into the front of the pack of Democrats running in the 2008 presidential election sweepstakes.

Indeed, strategists working on Gore's behalf in Nashville, Tennessee, speaking on condition of anonymity, have disclosed Gore's major campaign theme.

Namely, "So, How Many Nobel Peace Prizes Has Hillary Won?"

You go, boy!

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.

October 10, 2007

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Illegal Alien Pedro Zapeta Needs $49,000 to pay his Lawyer!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Pedro Zapeta is the illegal alien who invaded America nine years ago to pursue a career in dish washing. By adding tax evasion to his skills set, Pedro was able to amass $59,000 over that nine-year period.

But after nine stimulating years, Zapeta decided he needed less challenging work, so he decided to return to Guatemala.

According to rumors spread by loiters outside several Day Labor centers in Miami, Zapeta planned to use that hard-earned $59,000 to start a government consulting firm.

His specialty? Showing Guatemala, Mexico and other third world governments how to escape the clutches of abject poverty.

Pedro's success model is really quite simple: Export your poverty to America!

Unfortunately for the rocket science major turned dishwasher, his decision to carry that $59,000 in a duffel bag through airport security put a crimp in his entrepreneurial visions.

Specifically, Pedro Zapeta was arrested and his small fortune confiscated by the U.S. government. Pedro has been ordered to leave America by January 2008, sans most of that $59,000.

But not everyone agrees that Zapeta has received the justice he richly deserves.

Writing in the Miami Herald, Ana Menendez sympathizes with the illegal alien:

"At a time when most Americans are deep in the red and the national debt rises by more than $1 billion a day, Pedro Zapeta may be the last man on earth who still embodies the great American ideal of thrift and hard work.

"He never owned a car, rode his bike everywhere and denied himself every luxury beyond rent and electricity. If Zapeta were wise to the ways of popular culture, he'd pitch a self-help book: How to Think and Grow Rich on Minimum Wage.

"Zapeta doesn't care about any of that. He just wants to get home to his family. That's understandable. But I think the authorities should reconsider.

Anyone who can amass $62,000 in nine years should be forced to stay here and teach the rest of us how to do it."

Miami Herald: http://www.miamiherald.com/548/story/266193.html

Of course, Menendez does not mention the fact that America's national debt includes hundreds of billions of dollars spent to provide education, health care, food, housing and other public services to illegal aliens like Pedro Zapeta.

Further, about 30 percent of America's prison and jail population is made up of illegal aliens, another huge expense dumped on the backs of American taxpayers.

Ms. Menendez also conveniently overlooks the fact that most Americans pay income taxes, a legal requirement imposed by the federal government and most states. Without the burden of income taxes, many Americans would be far less encumbered with debt and more likely to be rich like Pedro Zapeta.

As to Menendez's idea for a book, I agree that Pedro should undertake such a project.

However, rather than How to Think and Grow Rich on Minimum Wage, Pedro should pen a book titled, Get Rich by Invading America, Evading Taxes and Freeloading on the Backs of American Taxpayers, For Dummies.

To be published in Spanish only, of course.

As to Menendez's proposal that Pedro Zapeta should be forced to stay in America and teach the rest of us how to earn and save: Nice thought, but Pedro Zapeta is urgently needed in Guatemala.

After all, while Pedro was ripping off America, nine years worth of dirty dishes have been stacking up in Guatemala!

Go home, Pedro!

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By John W. Lillpop

San Antonio, Texas is home to the Alamo and one hellacious American hero named David Bohmfalk.

When illegal aliens marched through the streets of America to demand "rights," and to protest the rule of law in America, Bohmfalk started paying attention. Knowing that American politcians were actually proposing amnesty for the marching thugs ignited a fire of patriotism in Bohmfalk.

Bohmfalk took a patriotic and honorable stand in front of the Alamo, a building where Davy Crockett and James Bowie gained honor and a place of esteem in American history.

The full story as reported by Joe Conger of KENS 5 Eyewitness News:

"It caused some controversy, but it was supposed to. Now, one man is headed to municipal court for burning a Mexican flag in protest in front of the Alamo.

"The city is charging 46-year old David Bohmfalk with burning without a permit, even though no one gives permits to burn a flag.

'I was raised to respect my country,' Bohmfalk said.

"All the rallies and talk of amnesty for undocumented immigrants in May 2006 lit the fires of patriotism for Bohmfalk, he said.

'I just got angry,' he said. 'I decided I had to do something, make my statement, and that's what I did.'

"Bohmfalk had his own protest in front of a building known for revolution, where Davy Crockett and James Bowie made a stand. So did Bohmfalk but he used a lighter instead of gunfighter. Park police cited Bohmfalk for illegal burning of rubbish, even it was a Mexican flag he set ablaze.

'Because of what it's made out of, it took a little while to burn it. It took me two minutes, but I got it lit,' Bohmfalk said.

"Authorities say his actions left some of the Mexican nationals in the Alamo crowd feeling burned. However, Bohmfalk's attorney, Jason Jakob, says, freedom of speech is Bohmfalk's constitutional right.

'My client felt so strongly, and exercised protest, by burning that flag,' Jakob said.

"Bohmfalk says while he was detained by police, he was harassed, his life was threatened, and he was even assaulted by some tourists who spit on him. Ironically, all these offenses are punishable by law. Jakob says flag burning is not.

'In America, every day we see people burning the American flag and it's become desensitized,' Jakob said. 'If we can allow that, we can certainly say that the Mexican flag can be burned.'

"As a former Texas police chief and military veteran, Bohmfalk says he knows his rights, and is fighting for them.

'Why should a foreign flag get any better protection than the American flag?' he said.

"The city has not returned calls for comment. As for Bohmfalk's right to a speedy trial, that's been delayed as well. His trial has been reset three times."

San Antonio Express News
http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/metro/stories/MYSA100907.Mexflagburn.KENS_.155c25557.htmls

God bless and keep you and your attorney, David Bohmfalk! You are a genuine American hero!

Most Americans were alarmed upon learning that 12 twelve million illegal aliens have invaded our nation and are still occuping American soil. What will the People think and do when they learn that the problem may actually be more than three times greater than the government admits?

A group called Californians for Population Stabilization has issued a report, which concludes that as many as 38 million illegal aliens are occupying America.

Newsroomamerica http://www.newsroomamerica.com/politics/story.php?id=394839

38 million illegal aliens occuping American soil!

Rather than the twelve million reported by illegal alien friendly morons in the Bush administration and U.S. Congress.

Incomprehensible!

Think about it. America is supposed to operate in accordance with the rule of law.

Yet 38 million people have been able to successfully cross our borders illegally? Each and every one of whom must be regarded as a potential terrorist since we know nothing about any of them?

All of this when our commander-in-chief insists that the nation is at war?

And our government refuses to enforce existing laws by deporting illegal aliens, and in fact, would like to grant each and every one amnesty!

Clearly, governance of America has fallen into the hands of brain dead elitists who do not give a damn about U.S. sovereignty, the rule of law, our Constitution, or preservation of American language and culture.

Those are the same political nit wits anxious to pass an amnesty plan that would reward 38 million criminals with the most prized possession on the planet: U.S. Citizenship.

Fact: If illegal aliens were a separate state, it would be the most populous state in the union!

Does it make any sense for America to sponsor a subculture comprised of 38 million third-world peasants, most of whom are uneducated, unskilled and non-English speaking?

A subculture that costs taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars each year for public services?

A subculture where many actually believe that Mexico still holds claim to the southwest United States, and that “gringos” should be forced out?

A subculture where the Mexican flag is more esteemed that Old Glory?

Consider how our illegal alien population compares with the population of some foreign nations*:

Canada:
34 million

Iraq:
27 million

Australia:
20 million

North Korea:
23 million

Israel:
6.5 million

Ireland:
4 million

Can America afford to take in human poverty nearly twice the population of Australia? Or nine times the population of Ireland?

More than the entire population of Canada?

And if we did something so foolish, how long before another 40 million illegal aliens would invade?

We the People must demand that our elected officials secure the borders immediately, with armed force if need be, and deport every last illegal alien as soon as possible.

If We the People fail to stop George W. Bush and his co-conspirators in the U.S. Congress, there will be no America to pass on to future generations.

* Source
https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/index.html

October 8, 2007

ItsAPundit's little venture into blog hosting didn't go all that well.

Oh, sure. A couple of bloggers took us up on it. Some existing bloggers who wanted a little side project. And a couple of folks that got into blogging for the first time.

But mostly, sploggers.

Those are spam-bloggers.

You know the type. They create a blog for the purpose of sending out spam.

I hate spam.

Not SPAM®. I like Hormel's fine meat product.

But spam. I hate spam.

And battling spam was a constant thing.

Then one blogger decided to post content that violated a copyright.

And the copyright owner (or claimant) decided to complain.

Now, if they had complained to me, I'd have quickly solved the problem.

But no. This American Idol (if, like me, you don't give a rat's ass about TV shows such as "American Idol," it's an updated, overblown, stretched-out version of "Ted Mack's Amateur Hour") contestant decided to contact Dreamhost, the place where this site is hosted. And they took it down before contacting me.

I didn't like that.

But I understand why they did what they did. Don't like it. But anyway, it's back up and running.

And so ends the little blog-hosting experiment.

So, what's going to happen to the few actual blogs that were created?

Well, nothing, really. I will continue to host them as WordPress blogs, rather than as a WordPress MU blog.

There might be a slight hiccup as the changeover from WordPress MU to WordPress 2.3 goes into effect. But that should be slight. So don't freak. But do contact me if your blog appears inaccessible.

But, as of now, no more new blogs.

If you want a new blog, give me a shout anyway. I may be able to help you out.

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Destined to be converted to a "Edwards Poverty Eradication Center"?


By John W. Lillpop

Democrat presidential candidate John Edwards is quite right about poverty in America you know.

Poverty is immoral, un-American, unpatriotic, and probably unconstitutional and criminal, especially if a liberal is elected to the presidency in 2008.

And who better qualified to lead America out of the dark ages on this vital issue than John Edwards? After all, Edwards has been masterful in ending poverty–at least for himself, that is.

According to Ian Bishop in an article titled Estate of Denial in the New York Post, John Edwards is megarich, worth upwards of $30 million.

Bishop writes, "Edwards' posh estate is a work in progress, with a recently completed 10,700-square-foot main mansion as its centerpiece.

"The $3.1 million ritzy pad sports 10 rooms, 61/2 baths, two garages, a huge country kitchen with hardwood floors, and sweeping verandas to soak in the view of the verdant pasture.

"Two other residences - one for 22-year-old daughter Cate and one for visiting friends and family - are already under way, according to Orange County, N.C., property records. A two-story, 6,366-square-foot mini-mansion is about 70 percent complete."

New York Post: http://www.nypost.com/seven/12272006/news/nationalnews/
estate_of_denial_nationalnews_ian_bishop.htm

With all those mansions and mansion-light properties in his wealth portfolio, Edwards is obviously uniquely qualified to address the concerns of those who eat dirt in order to find protein rich worms and who sleep in parks and junky old cars.

The solution to poverty, according to Edwards and other socialists of his ilk, is redistribution of wealth. Take from the rich and give to the poor, right John?

Why not start with ultra-rich people in North Carolina?

In fact, why don't you and Elizabeth move into a lovely tract home situated on 1/8th of an acre with a pad featuring 2 bedrooms, 1bath, 900 square feet, a one bicycle carport, and a panoramic view of poverty from your very own living room?

You know a starter home worth, say, $65,000?

What to do with all those mansions and properties y'all own, you ask?

No problem. Simply deed them, free and clear, to the great state of North Carolina for conversion into "Edwards Poverty Eradication Centers," named after the formerly rich John Edwards.

Having purged all signs of success and wealth from his own life, Edwards would be well positioned to challenge other ultra-rich politicians and public figures to do likewise.

People like Hillary and Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, Diane Feinstein, Jay Rockefeller, Oprah Winfrey, George Soros, and most of Hollywood's biggest stars are filthy rich liberals.

Edwards could challenge all of these folks to forsake their wealth in the name of bleeding heart insanity.

In the past, mining the Catholic Church would have been another terrific way to steal riches from heathens in order to fund the poor. But, alas, the church has used most of its wealth to pay for child molestation and other sexual felonies by so-called priests.

Still, with slick promoters working on his behalf, John Edwards could easily become America's "Robin Hood" candidate. A well crafted media image could make Edwards into a sophisticated confederate on a mission to help the little guy; a progressive from the "New South."

I can already see the glittery two page spread in the New York Times with the bold title: John Edwards, Rebel WITH a Cause.

Of course there is a much easier, less painful way to eradicate poverty in America.

Namely, simply round up all illegal aliens and ship them back to Mexico.

Do that, and America will have far less poverty and far fewer people without health insurance.

A win-win for U.S. citizens.

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.

October 7, 2007


By John W. Lillpop

Racism is an insidious beast, regardless of it's origin or target.

It is important to note that this monster can be manifested in unwarranted "pro" sentiments that are just as toxic as "anti" feelings. In either case, the objective is to elevate one's race above others based solely on race.

Example: Take Blanca Alvarado (please!). This Santa Clara County Supervisor once thought it made perfect sense to abandon Columbus Day just to make room for the birthday of Cesar Chavez!

Talk about blatant racism! Clearly, this proposal was based on Alvarado's Hispanic racism and her desire to supplant an all-American holiday with a day that would elevate a fellow Hispanic.

Alvarado's assault on Italians and American history was apparently inspired by a comment from fellow nit wit supe Liz Kniss who said, "On this particular coast, it (Columbus Day) doesn't seem to have great relevance."

Metroactive: http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/01.16.03/public-eye-0303.html

With all due respect to Alvarado and Kniss, the birthday of Cesar Chavez is irrelevant to most people, excepting those who are able to milk the day for some undeserved, but paid, time off.

In any event, the second Monday in October is still celebrated as Columbus Day in most of America. The post office, banks, and other government offices are mostly closed to honor Christopher Columbus for his wonderful discovery.

For those Hispanics like Blanca Alvarado who feel disenfranchised by Columbus Day, there is some good news.

Most vineyards are OPEN on the second Monday in October, and the grapes are ripe for picking or stomping, depending on one's progress in managing anger!

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.

October 6, 2007


American Hero Jim Broussard does the right thing!


By John W. Lillpop

To the best of my knowledge, veteran Jim Broussard has never been, and is not now, a candidate for the U.S. presidency. I have no idea if Broussard is a Democrat, Republican, or Independent, or if he is even registered to vote.

Nonetheless, one thing is certain about the Reno, Nevada citizen: He has more understanding of, and respect for, patriotism and the American flag than Democrat presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Brousaard is the patriotic veteran who, upon learning that a Reno bar was flying a Mexican flag above Old Glory, took matters into his own hands. The U.S. vet drove to the bar in question, the Cantina El Jaripeo, and cut down the banners in front of a stunned group of Hispanic patrons.

This American hero left the Mexican flag on the ground and, with the U.S. flag in hand, made the following statement:

"I'm Jim Broussard," he said, "and I took this flag down in honor of my country with … a knife from the United States Army. I'm a veteran, I'm not going to see this done to my country. If they want to fight us, then they need to be men, and they need to come and fight us. But I want somebody to fight me for this flag. They're not going to get it back."
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=57960

If only President Bush, Democrats, and RINOs had .00000099 of a percent of Broussard's common sense and patriotic spunk, America might not be overrun with 20-30 million illegal aliens who are bankrupting the nation and placing the safety and security of the American people in grave peril.

Without question, Jim Broussard deserves recognition as a genuine national hero.

About the time that Jim Broussard was showing proper respect and esteem for the American flag, Democrat Barack Obama was making big flag news as well, although Obama's action did not exactly add to the esteem of Old Glory.

Obviously, no one can know for sure exactly what is in the heart of Obama.

However, we do know that Obama has decided that wearing a lapel pin featuring the American flag is not cool. Obama muddled the situation with the following explanation:

"The truth is that right after 9/11, I had a pin," Obama said. "Shortly after 9/11, particularly because as we're talking about the Iraq war, that became a substitute for I think true patriotism, which is speaking out on issues that are of importance to our national security."

With this naive action and garbled statement, Obama appears to think that honoring Old Glory is unpatriotic, or inspired by false patriotism.

His actions and words also serve to cement the image of liberals as unpatriotic, anti-American traitors who hate America and those who love her.

In that vein, one cannot help but wonder about how Barack Obama would have reacted to the flag travesty in Reno, Nevada.

Because Obama is a brain washed liberal, it is safe to assume that he would not have taken the courageous action that Jim Broussard did.

It seems far more likely that Obama would have snatched the American flag from that flagpole and left Old Glory languishing on the ground while honoring the Mexican flag with a respectful salute.

Most tragic is the fact that Barack Obama appears to be supported by large numbers of voters.


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By John W. Lillpop

While the mainstream media portray America as damn near uninhabitable because of President Bush, those who care should at least consider the “rest of the story” as Paul Harvey would say.

Under the leadership of George W. Bush, the American economy is flourishing. The stock market is setting new records on a daily basis, unemployment is at a level once considered “full employment,” families have more of their own money to spend on what they wish because of tax cuts, inflation is in check, and housing prices are moving from “extravagant exuberance” to more reasonable reflections of fair market value.

As for the global warming pandemic that Al Gore has worked tirelessly to create, the inconvenient fact is that that phenomenon, if it exists at all, is mostly attributable to hot air emitted by Gore and the legion of loony leftists who support the misguided former vice president.

And with just a month to go in the hurricane season, Gore and company are wringing their hands in angst. That is because the Democrats were expecting (hoping for) a non-stop assault on the U.S. mainland by Category 5 storms that could be blamed on environmental malfeasance by the Bush administration.

But to the dismay of the left, there have been zero—I said zero—Bush hurricanes to hit America in 2007.

Which means that liberals have lost another “issue” with which to hoodwink voters.

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.

October 3, 2007


By John W. Lillpop

As most people know, Michael Chertoff is the part-time head of U.S. Homeland Security. Chertoff's day job and vocational passion is functioning as the anti-Christ, a role more consistent with his temperament and appearance.

Because of Chertoff's split responsibilities, homeland security has been neglected and short- changed, especially when it comes to illegal immigration.

Whether by design because of Dubya Bush's insanity, or by coincidence because of Dubya Bush's stupidity, the result has been devastating.

Fact is, up until now our federal government has encouraged third-world peasants to invade America in record numbers. That, despite the crippling impact of illegal immigration on America's economy, security, crime rates, security, and culture.

Senor~ Bush has received plenty of help in making America a safe haven for invading Latinos. That help has been forthcoming from liberals who see illegal aliens as "undocumented Democrats," and from RINOs always looking to scare up a bountiful supply of slave labor for big business.

Given the unholy alliance between Bush, Democrats, and corrupt RINOs, solving the illegal alien crisis has been next to impossible— until now.

However, Michael Chertoff may have inadvertently, and no doubt reluctantly, provided the most powerful argument to date against illegal aliens.

Chertoff did so when he said, "Illegal migrants really degrade the environment," in a telephone interview with The Associated Press.
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8S0MJG00&show_article=1

In essence, Chertoff was declaring that "Brown degrades green," at least when it comes to illegal aliens.

As everyone knows, the environment and green are the Holy Grail of the Democrat party.

Nothing is more important than the environment.

Protecting labor unions and a woman's right to murder innocent children, retreating from Iraq, condemning George Bush, making gay marriage legal, raising taxes, etc., all pale in comparison to the importance of the environment in the diseased liberal brain.

Which means that patriotic Americans dedicated to ending the invasion of America by third world peasants have been gifted with a simple, yet wonderful, solution by Dr. Chertoff.

Namely, link illegal aliens to global warming!

Do that and then step aside as the likes of Al Gore, and Nancy Pelosi lead scores of millions of green-eyed nut cases into battle against barrios, Home Depot outlets, Day Laborer centers and other squatting places favored by illegal aliens.

Do that and watch Deportations Now! become the number one mantra on the lips of liberals from Maine to San Diego

At that happy day, those of us who oppose illegal immigration for patriotic and common sense reasons, will gratefully thank God for green and all other forms of environmental craziness!