Archive for February, 2007

Breaking News: Anna Nicloe Smith Death Linked to Border Scandal

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007 by John W Lillpop


SATIRE

For Immediate Release:

Crawford, Texas (lilllevinnews)

In exclusive reports delivered to lilllevinnews, unnamed sources are alleging that there may be a direct and, very damaging, link between President Bush and U.S. Attorney Johnny Sutton, and the death of Anna Nicole Smith, the late superstar model

Initial reports are somewhat sketchy but here is what is known so far:

Anna Nicole Smith was born in Houston, Texas on November 28, 1967. In and of itself, that may seem insignificant, but to experienced investigators like Shclip Leviopp, ace reporter at lilllevinnews, alarm bells went off and red flags appeared.

Upon further investigation, Leviopp uncovered a trail of suspicious behavior in Smith's background. For example, Leviopp reports that at the age of 17, Smith made herself a powerful force in Texas oil and politics by marrying oil business executive and billionaire J. Howard Marshall.

That would, of course, place Smith in the same socio-economic circles as G.W Bush, although Smith was not known as an alcoholic. Given the fact that Marshall was 63 years her senior, Leviopp reports that Smith's apparent abstinence from alcohol is very "Un-Texan" and makes the evolving story all the more compelling and credible.

The next "red flag" arises when Smith was featured as a Playboy centerfold in 1992. Leviopp notes that Smith's immediate successor was Angela Melini, a Hispanic, and probably an illegal alien.

Leviopp speculates that being replaced by an illegal alien probably poisoned Smith's mind against all illegal aliens, including good hearted, hard working naked sluts with Spanish surnames.

So how does all this implicate President Bush and or Johnny Sutton?

Leviopp reports that Bush and Sutton have been close friends for decades, and that Bush was especially eager to have Sutton's help in keeping the border as calm as possible while amnesty was being people-of-color-rigged in Washington, D.C.

According to Leviopp, that configuration of needs and opportunities lead the president to introduce his pal Johnny Sutton to the voluptuous and sexy Anne Nicole Smith.

An affair of the flesh apparently ensued and, in a major scoop of epic proportions, Leviopp is reporting that Johnny Sutton is the father of Smith's daughter, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern, born September 7, 2006, at Doctors Hospital in Nassau, Bahamas.

Repeat: Ace reporter Shclip Leviopp is reporting tonight that U.S. Attorney Johnny Sutton is the father of the child born to Anna Nicole Smith on September 7, 2006.

As if this story is not convoluted enough, Leviopp reports that former border agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean became aware of Sutton's relationship with Smith and the illegitimate child resulting from Johnny's reckless spreading of his apple seeds.

Once Sutton realized that Ramos and Compean knew the facts, Sutton decided that the agents needed attitude adjustments–the kind that take 11 or 12 years behind bars to effect.

Thus, the incomprehensible and vulgar prosecution of two innocent American heroes was launched to cover up a wicked dalliance between a two-bit whore and a crooked lawyer with ties to Dubya.

The final chapter in this sordid tale involves the actual death of Anna Nicole Smith. Although all of the evidence thus far is circumstantial, Leviopp believes that Sutton may have considered Smith a threat given her unstable and immature lifestyle. That may have caused Sutton to arrange for Smith's "suicide."

No one can know for sure where all this will lead, but two things seem quite clear: 1) Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean are not likely to be pardoned any time soon, and 2) Johnny Sutton is probably trying to make an appointment with the president to discuss presidential pardons for those found guilty of murder!

satirebylillpop

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, "clean and sober" since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable!

Liberals' Return to Power, Year of the Pig, and Divine Truth

Wednesday, February 21st, 2007 by John W Lillpop

By John W. Lillpop

The spiritually naive probably view the capture of both chambers of Congress by Democrats, including the ascension of Nancy Pelosi to House Speaker, as coincidental. A national death urge on the part of the American electorate, perhaps, but with no perceivable cosmic significance.

In fact,however, everything happens according to a Divine Truth, a metaphysical chess match played for eternity on a Universal stage by Barons of the Heavens.

How else can one explain the extraordinary situation we Americans find ourselves in these days?

Think about it: America is "blessed" with a president and second-in-line successor who think and act like Sesame Street characters Oscar the Cookie Monster (President Bush) and Big Bird (Speaker Pelosi) rather than serious political shakers and movers.

Most distressing, the only thing separating Big Bird from Oscar's desk in the Oval Office is an out-of-shape old shyster from Halliburton with the heart of a lion–a very sick lion.

A man whose heart would have been replaced decades ago if surgeons had been able to find the damn thing!

Only a Divine Mind with an outrageous sense of humor would give the U.S. a president who is unable to pronounce "nuclear" and a bug-eyed speaker who believes that public prayers should be taxed!

But bitching changes nothing.

Might just as well wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year, and chalk up the mess in Washington to the Year of the Pig!

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, "clean and sober" since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable!

American Tragedy: Current President Not Worth Celebrating!

Monday, February 19th, 2007 by John W Lillpop

Presidents' Day is a national holiday set aside to honor the great men who have served America as president. It is mean to include the current president.Unfortunately, the current occupant of the White House is worthier of ridicule than celebration.

America is now paying the price for electing a man who is incapable of communicating well enough to pass an elementary speech class.

George W. Bush is the worst communicator on the public stage anywhere in the world right now, and must surely be the least effective communicator ever to occupy, or even enter, the White House.

Frankly, it is embarrassing to be an American when George W. Bush speaks. The man comes across as a clueless dimwit who compounds his problem with an arrogant smirk and haughty manner.

An idiot with a smirk–that is our "conservative" president, all right!

George W. Bush has squandered an excellent opportunity to change the course of history and expunge liberalism from the body politic, perhaps forever. But because of his incoherent speech, bumbling mismanagement, inattention to business, and arrogant malpractice, America has made no progress in winning the war on terror, reforming social security, controlling spending, and the national debt.

During this incompetent man's tenure, America has nearly lost all credibility in the world.

Worse of all, George W. Bush is attempting to convert America into a third-world cesspool by encouraging the illegal invasion of this nation by peasants from Mexico.

Perhaps Bush does so knowing that, by comparison to non-English speaking illegal aliens, his own English will not seem so awful?

This president's dismal performance has given America Nancy Pelosi as Speaker-elect and Harry Reid as Majority leader of the U.S. Senate.

Only George W. Bush could make Donald Rumsfield look like a complete failure, while simultaneously elevating Cindy Sheehan to the status of Nobel Peace prize nominee.

By the time Bush finishes his term, the nation will welcome Hillary Clinton and her legion of leftists with open arms.

Just imagine what a pleasure it will be to once again have a president who can actually speak fluent English. Even if the words he/she speaks are leftist pap, at least it will be delivered in an intelligent and comprehensible fashion.

Were he an honorable man who really cared about America, George W. Bush would announce that he is resigning the presidency, effective immediately.

Bush would then be free to take his "Mission Accomplished" banner and "Spanish for Dummies" book with him and retreat to Crawford, Texas.

Sad to say, but that is really George W. Bush's only hope for any thing approaching a positive legacy.

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, 'clean and sober' since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable! Writing is his passion. He loves creating lively copy with irony and humor!

Spammers

Monday, February 19th, 2007 by Basil

I knew this day would come. It actually came earlier this week.

Spammers.

I hate spammers.

Oh, I like SPAM. That meat product from Hormel. Good stuff.

But spam … unsolicited commercial email … is a pain. And, around here, we expand "spam" to include TrackBack and Comment Spam.
Lots of spammers set up Web sites to support their spam. And some have chosen to use this blogging service.

We're not here for that. I don't like it. And blogs set up here for the purpose of supporting email, comment, or TrackBack spam won't last long.

I've already closed down several. And see several more that look like spammers in training. They haven't yet put spam-consistent content on those blogs. But I expect they will. And I think they've tried, but have been caught by the JavaScript stripping that WPMU does. I think they'll keep trying, and eventually put up stuff that's obviously for spam purposes. And when they do, and when I see it, the blogs are toasts.

Sure, they may end up signing up for another blog. But I'll shut those down, too.

No, this isn't a challenge. Just a statement of fact.

I haven't gone so far as to contact their ISPs. But that's an idea.

Still, this is a blogging service. And I fully expect people to set up blogs that I find distasteful or offensive.

But I'm not going to tolerate some things. Spam isn't free speech. Nothing commercial is free.

I'm all about folks setting up blogs to make money. By selling ads or such. Not by spamming folks via email, TrackBacks, or comments.

Just thought you should know.

America Under Attack From Within: A Weekly Report of U.S. Casualties

Saturday, February 17th, 2007 by John W Lillpop

google

John W. Lillpop

The week of February 12 through 16 provided a disgusting batch of news indicating that the forces of liberalism are getting more aggressive in their drive to destroy America from within.

All of the stories are based on current events; some have been enriched with   "tongue in cheek" satire.


U.S. House Final Tally: Jihadists 246, U.S. Troops 182

In what will surely go down in history as a dark, dark day for America, the Democrat-run U.S. delivered a staggering blow to our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The vote was 246 for the Jihadists, 182 for U.S. Troops.

Here:  http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_IRAQ?SITE=WCNC&SECTION=HOME& TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Democrats have been hoping to turn the war on terror into a redux of Vietnam–it looks as though they have finally created the quagmire they had been predicting.

Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden, CAIR, the ACLU, the DNC, and other enemies of America are celebrating the U.S. surrender.

To quote one unidentified Jihadist: "things have not been this good since Harry Reid "killed" the Patriot Act."

Woe be unto all that love America–she is wobbling and needs to be lifted up!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Wither the "America" at B of A?

Bank of America?  Hardly!

As further testament to the fact that some American business entities will stoop to unbelievable and despicable depths in pursuit of more profit, the so-called Bank of America has decided to troll the illegal alien market for gold.

Forsaking legitimate concerns about homeland security, rule of law, U.S. sovereignty, and American language and culture, vipers at BofA have announced that credit cards will be offered to "undocumented immigrants," more correctly known as illegal aliens.

Under this anti-America plan, criminals here illegally will be able to establish credit without providing a social security number.  That is great news for outlaws who have broken into America, but bad news for those who make huge fortunes by selling stolen identities to invaders.

Beltway insider Opel Bijiquiovarti has looked into this latest corporate snubbing of America by BofA and has filed the following executive summary:
According to Bijiquiovarti, BofA hopes to take advantage of undereducated, impoverished illegal aliens in order to make money.

Specifically, by reading the small print, one learns that the BofA terms include a computer program language translation fee (from Cobalt to Spanish), a "We will not turn you in to ICE" senorcharge, and other miscellaneous assessments.
In sidebar agreements being negotiated between BofA and several state governments, monthly credit card payments can be deducted from welfare payments and deposited directly into BofA coffers.

For a fee, of course.

All in all, Bijiquiovarti reports that the average illegal alien who signs up for a card with $500 credit card limit will be charged $480.12 in setup fees, leaving the illegal alien less than $20.00 to spend.

BofA officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, told Bijiquiovarti that this fee structure would ultimately work to the advantage of illegal aliens.

This is so because the BofA plan limits the amount of money available for the purchase of alcohol, high-fat tacos, spicy burritos, and other products that could get an illegal alien into a legal kerfuffle, and subjected to deportation.

According to bank officials, the BofA plan is yet another example of the bank's ongoing efforts to reach out and help the little guy.

Bank of America and illegal aliens: Both are bad for America–perfect for each other!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Iraq to Close Borders With Syria and Iran: What a Novel Concept!

Iraqi officials have apparently learned something about war that seems beyond the grasp of President George W. Bush.

Namely, Lt. Gen. Abboud Gambar, Iraqi commander of Baghdad security, announced that Iraq would close its borders with Syria and Iran.

Here:  http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070213/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iraq

What a concept!

Imagine that, actually taking action to keep enemies out during time of war.  This could actually mean that Iraq is finally getting serious about defeating the insurgents, thereby bringing some civility to this hellhole.

But what about a guest worker program, Lt. Gen.?  Don't you know that by putting too much "pressure " on the border, you will only exacerbate the inflow of enemies into your nation?

At least that is the theory of America's great intellect and war strategerist, George W. Bush.

Of course, the "Bush Doctrine" has lead to America being inundated with 30 million peasants from the Third World, but remember, "Family Values do not stop at the border."

And like the Third World criminals who have invaded America, the Syrian and Iranian thugs headed to Iraq are probably "good hearted, hard working" insurgents when you get to know them.

Here is more free, but invaluable, advise from the bully pulpit of George W. Bush:

Rather than securing your borders, why not create a guest worker program for all insurgents now in Iraq, and establish a program that allows insurgents in-waiting from Syria and Iran to come as guest workers?

Mind you, this is NOT amnesty!  Never, ever, use the word amnesty when Bush double-talk will do.

Complete the Bushwacking of Iraq by giving all insurgents free education, health care, housing, food, and a path to immediate citizenship.

In short order, there will be more insurgents than Iraqi citizens in Iraq, but at least they will all be fed, educated, and healthy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Rep. Keith Ellison Issues Fatwa on Cigar Smoke

Democrat Keith Ellison, the only Muslim elected to the U.S. Congress, has decided to tackle issues that other politicians normally shy away from.

Rather than concerning himself with illegal immigration, global warming, the war on terror, trade deficits, the federal debt, and troop surge in Iraq, the Minnesota Democrat has issued a Fatwa on cigar smoke.

More specifically, cigar smoke emanating from the office of Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.).

Here: http://www.thehill.com/thehill/export/TheHill/News/Frontpage/021407/ta ncredo.html

As it turns out, Tancredo is allowed to smoke in his office according to the property management firm responsible for the building.

However, Ellison staffers dispute Tancredo's authority to "pollute the air," saying that building regulations are subordinate to Sharia law which specifically forbids smoking of any nicotine product within 100 yards of a sacred site of Islam.

In this case, Tancredo's office is within 95 feet of Ellison's office, which has been designated as a stoning sanctuary.

Under Sharia law, Ellison's office can be used as an execution chamber for stoning to death evil women who have dressed and behaved in a manner that has forced Muslim men to rape them.  That makes the office a sacred Islam site.

Because of Sharia law, Tancredo is guilty of a sin against Allah every time the Representative lights up.

Nonetheless, Tancredo says he does not intend to stop smoking in his office, Allah willing or not!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Where Are the "Family Values" for These Illegal Aliens?

President Bush's policy on illegal immigration can be summarized as follows:
Only "good hearted, hard working" people come here illegally, and they come only to do work that Americans refuse to do.

Throw in nonsensical statements like "Family Values do not stop at the Rio Grande," and "Not having a guest worker program puts too much pressure on the border" and you have the Bush Manifesto on the Mexican invasion in a nutshell.

You also have a policy so riddled with illogic that most pre-school children would be able to identify it for what it really is–recycled snake oil from an American president more concerned about Mexican peasants than he is about American citizens.

Mind you, nearly everyone can sympathize with the plight of poor Mexicans.  They have been betrayed by the Mexican government, which chooses to dump their problems on the U.S.  side of the border, rather than dealing with said problems using Mexican resources.

But a recent study reported that 40 percent of Mexicans living in Mexico would prefer to live in America.

How many additional scores of millions of uneducated, non-English speaking peasants can America take in?  And at what point does America itself decay into a Third World cesspool?

Unfortunately, Mexico's ruling class has a willing accomplice in the person of George W. Bush who does not seem to give a damn about anything except killing Muslims in the Middle East and killing the American Dream for citizens here at home!

As to the mindless prattle about "Family Values," two recent stories contradict that foolishness rather emphatically.

Take the case of Albert Vidal Torres, of Ontario, California.  This shining example of "Family Values" has been charged with sprinkling glass and other debris into Chinese vegetable dumplings that were shipped to markets throughout California.

Prosecutors also believe that Torres contaminated the dumplings with seeds, pebbles, and spit.  Torres must have left his "Family Values," if he ever had any, at the Rio Grande.

And, yes, Albert Vidal Torres, is an illegal alien.  This Third World monster should not have even been in the United States to begin with.

Go here: http://www.dailybulletin.com/news/ci_5215797

Then we have the story of Jason Okon, a three-year Army veteran who was awarded a Bronze Star for valor in Iraq.  This genuine American hero recently returned from Iraq and was in the process of making a new life for himself.

Okon's plans for pursuing the American Dream were abruptly halted by
Armando Martinez-Lozano.  According to Okon's wife, Jason was doing some yard work when Martinez-Lozano approached Jason with a knife and said something to him in Spanish.

When Okon told Martinez-Lozano to leave, the other man allegedly stabbed Okon in the stomach and ran away.  Okon was taken to Good Samaritan Hospital, where he remains in the intensive care unit.  He is comatose and on a ventilator.

Martinez-Lozano was arrested by police and jailed on charges of aggravated assault against Okon and the three officers who arrested him.

As with Torres, Armando Martinez-Lozano is an illegal alien.

Go here: http://www.kpho.com/news/11001314/detail.html

Yet another Third World thug who was able to assault an American hero because George W. Bush does not want to apply too much "pressure" on our borders.

Albert Vidal Torres and Armando Martinez-Lozano are not statistical aberrations.  In fact, illegal aliens kill 12 Americans a day through murders, drunken driving, and other violent crimes.

Illegal aliens are "good hearted, hard working" folks whose "Family Values" are as American as baseball, hot dogs, and apple pie.  Right?

Perhaps our president needs to educate himself as to the likes of Albert Vidal Torres and Armando Martinez-Lozano.

Or does George W. Bush even care?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Wasted" Lives: 4,380 Americans Murdered by Illegal Aliens Each Year!

While Senator Barack Obama called the loss of 3,100 Americans in the war on terror "wasted lives," Obama, all of his Democrat colleagues, RINOs, and President Bush choose to ignore a far more outrageous statistic.

As documented in a report by Joseph Farah dated November 28, 2006 and titled "Illegal Aliens Murder 12 Americans Daily," illegal aliens murder an average of 4,380 Americans each year.

And that does not include the 4,750 Americans killed by drunken illegal aliens every year!  That, by the way, equals 23,725 "wasted lives," since 9/11.  (And about 2,000 more than the "surge" that President Bush has ordered)

Go here:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53103

Really concerned about "wasted lives," Obama?

Then work to secure our borders, enforce existing laws, and deport all criminal illegal aliens now residing in America!

Tutorial: Using Site Meter

Friday, February 16th, 2007 by Basil

What is Site Meter?

Site Meter is a free, fast, and easy way to add a web counter to your web page. Not only does it display the number of visitors to your web site, it also keeps statistics on the number of visits each hour and each day.

At least, that's what they say. And we agree. We like Site Meter. A lot. And so do many others.

But first, to use Site Meter on your ItsAPundit.com blog, you have to have a Site Meter account. They're free. They also have premium accounts that cost money, but return more information. We have a premium account. But a free account still has lots of good stuff.

To sign up for a free Site Meter account, go here open in new window. To sign up for a premium Site Meter account, go here open in new window.

Once you've signed up for your Site Meter account, you'll be provided with your Site Meter ID (also called your "Site Code" or "Codename").

I Got My Site Meter Account. Now What?

ItsAPundit supports three ways of using Site Meter.

One way is via your Blogroll. This is not the preferred way, because it doesn't support many Site Meter features. That means you won't be able to track the original URL from which your visitors came before linking to your site. Other things that Site Meter won't be able to track about your visitors include timezones, keywords, search engines used, screen resolution, screen depth or javascript version. * open in new window.

Using the Site Meter Plug-in

David Smith, the genius behind Site Meter, developed a WordPress plug-in that we have available on ItsAPundit.

First, you must have a Site Meter account. See above. You'll be using your Codename / Site Code, so have that handy.

Next, you need to activate the Plug-in.

From your ItsAPundit Dashboard, click Plugins.

Scroll down to the Site Meter plug-in. Not the Site Meter Widget plug-in. (We'll cover that one in a minute.)

Click Activate.

Now, click Options > Site Meter.

Remember we said you'd need your Codename? Enter that in the codename box.

Click Update Options.

Open a new tab/window to your blog.

You should see your Site Meter at the bottom of the page. If you don't, it means one of three things have happened.

Either:

  1. Everything's fine and you have a premium account and have chosen the Invisible Tracker option.If you have a free account, this isn't what's happening and everything is not fine.
  2. or… You entered your Codename incorrectly.Recheck it against your Site Meter "welcome" email. If you entered it correctly, this is not what's happening. And the fault is likely mine. Because …
  3. The theme has an error and I need to fix it. Just let me know about the problem.

But, if everything is right, you'll see your Site Meter at the bottom of your blog.

Using the Site Meter Widget

If you want your Site Meter to appear in your sidebar, you need to use the Site Meter Widget.

From your ItsAPundit Dashboard, click Plugins.

Scroll down to the Site Meter Widget plug-in. Not the standard Site Meter plug-in.

Click Activate.

Now, click Presentation > Sidebar Widgets.

Drag the items you want in your sidebar from the Available Widgets box to your Sidebar box. Note that some themes have more than one Sidebar box. Drag the Widgets to the appropriate box. Be sure to include your SiteMeter Widget in the appropriate Sidebar box.

On the right-hand side of the SiteMeter Widget, you'll see an icon. Click it.

The SiteMeter Widgets Options box will pop up.

In the Title box, either enter a title for the Widget. One is not needed, but you can enter one if you wish.

In the Enter your codename box, enter your Site Meter Codename. This is requried.

Click Update Options. The popup box will close.

Click Save Changes.

Open a new tab/window to your blog.

You should see your Site Meter In the sidebar. If you don't see it, one of two things has happened.

Either:

  1. Everything's fine and you have a premium account and have chosen the Invisible Tracker option.If you have a free account, this isn't what's happening and everything is not fine.
  2. or… You entered your Codename incorrectly.Recheck it against your Site Meter "welcome" email.

If you suspect neither is the case, let me know. But it's probably one of these. So do double-check.

Can I Use Both?

If you activate both the Site Meter plugin and the Site Meter Widget plug-in, will it work?

Actually, yes. Our testing reveales that only one will show, so your stats should be correct. If, however, updates happen to either plug-in, they might start interferring with each other if they are both active. So we suggest activating one or the other, not both.

U.S. House Final Tally: Jihadists 246, U.S. Troops 182

Friday, February 16th, 2007 by John W Lillpop

John W. Lillpop

In what will surely go down in history as a dark, dark day for America, the Democrat-run U.S. delivered a staggering blow to our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The vote was 246 for the Jihadists, 182 for U.S. Troops.

Here:  http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_IRAQ?SITE=WCNC&SECTION=HOME& TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Democrats have been wishing for a redux of Vietnam–it looks as though they finally forced it.

Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden, CAIR, the ACLU, the DNC, and other enemies of America are celebrating the U.S. surrender.

To quote one unidentified Jihadist, things have not been this good since Harry Reid "killed" the Patriot Act.

Woe be unto all that love America–she is wobbling and may be about to go down for the count!

"Wasted" Lives: 4,380 Americans Murdered by Illegal Aliens Each Year!

Friday, February 16th, 2007 by John W Lillpop

By John W. Lillpop


While Senator Barack Obama called the loss of 3,100 Americans in the war on terror "wasted lives," the senator, all of his Democrat colleagues, RINOs, and President Bush choose to ignore a far more outrageous statistic.

As documented in a report by Joseph Farah dated November 28, 2006 and titled "Illegal Aliens Murder 12 Americans Daily," illegal aliens murder an average of 4,380 Americans each year.

And that does not include the 4,750 Americans killed by drunken illegal aliens every year! That, by the way, equals 23,725 "wasted lives," since 9/11. (And about 2,000 more than the "surge" that President Bush has ordered)

Go here:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53103

Really concerned about "wasted lives," Obama? Then work to secure our borders, enforce existing laws, and deport all criminal illegal aliens now residing in America!

Bank of America? Hardly!

Thursday, February 15th, 2007 by John W Lillpop

Bank of America? Hardly!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

As further testament to the fact that some American business entities will stoop to unbelievable and despicable depths in pursuit of more profit, the so-called Bank of America has decided to troll the illegal alien market for gold.

Forsaking legitimate concerns about homeland security, rule of law, U.S. sovereignty, and American language and culture, vipers at BofA have announced that credit cards will be offered to "undocumented immigrants," more correctly known as illegal aliens.

Under this anti-America plan, criminals here illegally will be able to establish credit without providing a social security number. That is great news for outlaws who have broken into America, but bad news for those who make huge fortunes by selling stolen identities to invaders.

Beltway insider Opel Bijiquiovarti has looked into this latest corporate snubbing of America by BofA and has filed the following executive summary:

According to Bijiquiovarti, BofA hopes to take advantage of undereducated, impoverished illegal aliens in order to make money.

Specifically, by reading the small print, one learns that the BofA terms include a computer program language translation fee (from Cobalt to Spanish), a "We will not turn you in to ICE" senorcharge, and other miscellaneous assessments.

In sidebar agreements being negotiated between BofA and several state governments, monthly credit card payments can be deducted from welfare payments and deposited directly into BofA coffers.

For a fee, of course.

All in all, Bijiquiovarti reports that the average illegal alien who signs up for a card with $500 credit card limit will be charged $480.12 in setup fees, leaving the illegal alien less than $20.00 to spend.

BofA officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, told Bijiquiovarti that this fee structure would ultimately work to the advantage of illegal aliens.

This is so because the BofA plan limits the amount of money available for the purchase of alcohol, high-fat tacos, spicy burritos, and other products that could get an illegal alien into a legal kerfuffle, and subjected to deportation.

According to bank officials, the BofA plan is yet another example of the bank's ongoing efforts to reach out and help the little guy.

Bank of America and illegal aliens: Both are bad for America–perfect for each other!


satirebylillpop


John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, "clean and sober" since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable!

Inline TrackBacks

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007 by Basil

We've added another new plug-in to ItsAPundit.com - a variation of the classic Inline Trackbacks by Simply Kimberly.

While it's true that Kimberly Emerson is no longer supporting her plug-in, the value of the plug-in has been proven over time to those that like the Inline TrackBacks feature. We're supporting it here … but only for here.

Here's how it works.

When the plug-in is activated, TrackBacks and Pingbacks to posts will appear on the blog's home page, underneath the post. Some bloggers enjoy showing links to posts on the blog's home page. Some use it to host Linkfests.

Linkfests are not classical blogging, but they are popular in some corners of the Blogosphere. If Linkfests … or Inline TrackBacks … are your cup of tea, you can include them as part of your ItsAPundit.com blog.

While not everyone will use this plug-in, some will want to use it. And things like this are ways we're trying to make blogging just a little bit easier.