It's A Pundit

George W. Bush's intractable and wholly unholy obsession with the Mexicanization of the United States has bewildered, confounded, and infuriated conservatives as well as other patriotic Americans from all ideological backgrounds.

In particular, conservatives found the president's most recent verbal assault galling because Bush resorted to blasphemy when he accused those who oppose amnesty of not wanting to "do what is best for America."

Has this president gone barking mad? Or has he gone madder, to be more precise?

When and how did America deteriorate to the point where a Republican president feels obligated to lash out against GOP colleagues for insisting on rule of law?

Since when has it been un-American to demand secure borders, enforcement of existing laws, and punishment rather than rewards for those who have deliberately invaded our nation and plundered taxpayer funded services like common criminals?

How is it that a strong commitment to preserving American culture and language makes one a racist or a bigot?

It almost appears as though the president is so desperate to deliver amnesty to his Mexican handlers that he has decided to argue that legalizing 12-30 million illegal aliens is needed as a vital weapon to combat terror here at home.

Or perhaps Bush believes that Osama bin Laden would lose interest in killing four million Americans if our great nation were a third-world cesspool like Mexico?

And maybe there is some truth to that: Why would Osama waste a suitcase full of perfectly fine dirty bombs to blow up Los Angeles when five million illegal aliens have already invaded LA, elected a Mexican national as mayor, and made that once proud city a sanctuary for corrupt, third world gangsters and peasants, and essentially uninhabitable?

Whatever the underlying strategy, Bush seems bound and determined to execute a preemptive strike against America, via amnesty for 12-30 million illegal aliens, in order to destroy the nation before Al-Quaeda can attack.

However, even if Bush's motives are not the result of a severe psychotic detachment from reality, the amnesty monster he is trying to ram down the throats of America is hopelessly flawed and an administrative nightmare.

Particularly for an administration that assigned responsibility for fighting Category Five hurricanes to an Arabian horse executive, tried to sell vital American port security management to a nation with known ties to terrorists, and fought a bitter but unsuccessful battle to seat a lottery queen on the U.S. Supreme Court.

If, and when, the amnesty travesty is signed into law, the Bush administration, with those dubious worth points on its resume, will have the following items to contend with:

* Hire and train 18,000 new border patrol agents. Dubya's record in this area is painfully awful, primarily because he refused to fill the border positions authorized by congress several years ago.

* Monitor the to and from movements of millions of heads of household aliens who would be required to return to their home country in order to qualify for citizenship consideration;

* Process background checks for millions of aliens, including follow up actions (deportation?) required for those found to have disqualifying criminal histories;

* Track the progress of millions of aliens in acquiring English skills required for those aspiring to citizenship;

* Collect fees and fines to be paid by illegal aliens;

* Track down and deport hundreds of thousands (millions?) of aliens who have criminal records and who will probably prefer to remain hidden in the "shadows" that bleeding-heart types like Bush are so concerned about, and

* Monitor hundreds of thousands of aliens who must leave America after two years as guest workers, and who must remain in Mexico for a full year before applying for another work permit. The government will also have to track the number of times this nonsense is authorized to assure compliance with amnesty law.

In addition, legalization would be available only to those in America as of January 1, 2007. However, everyone (except Dubya?) knows that the invasion of America will continue unabated and may, in fact, escalate if amnesty actually becomes law.

Thus, the federal government will need tens of thousands of additional federal employees to sort out the new vital question: Is X a Pre-January 1 Illegal Alien, or a Post-January 1 Illegal? Is to back to Mexico, or back to East Los Angeles for Z?

The bottom line of all of this is as follows: "Comprehensive reform" is neither reform, nor comprehensive. It is a ruse, a cruel and devastating joke, and completely unenforceable.

Dubya and the Democrats are obviously counting on all the tough language in the proposal to fool patriotic politicians and other Americans into believing that the administration is about to get serious about securing the borders and enforcing the laws.

In truth, Bush and his Destroy America Team have no interest whatsoever in preventing, or even limiting, the invasion of America.

To borrow a phrase from the immortal Yogi Berra, the current amnesty bill is "De Ja Vu, All Over again!"

Indeed, if the amnesty travesty of 2007 ever becomes law, our nation will have deliberately, and will malice, repeated the tragic mistake of 1986.

You might even say that America's greatness and security were sacrificed for cheap fruit.

Satire

That age-old admonition against casting "pearls before swine" was borne out in spades at the 2007 Miss Universe competition in Mexico earlier this week.

Several hundred Mexican peasants (swine) who have not yet figured out how to invade America vented their frustration at being stranded in the third world cesspool known as Mexico by booing Rachel Smith, Miss America for 2007 (pearl.).

The lovely Ms. Smith was booed repeatedly by the raucous thugs, providing a perfect rejoinder against George Bush's naive amnesty argument that goes something like this: America should grant amnesty to 12-30 million more Mexican illegal aliens because they have the same values as we Americans.

Is that really so? I do not know of any good American citizen who would boo a beautiful young lady from a foreign nation who had just suffered the public humiliation of falling on her tush.

Even if she were an ugly, old illegal alien from Mexico who was on welfare and about to deliver an "anchor baby" for U.S. taxpayers to support for 80 years or so.

But then again, we Americans are not swine. At least we on the right are not!

Still, it is understandable that booing is more popular than inflammatory signs or banners south of the border. After all, next to drunken driving, illiteracy is Mexico's favorite national pastime!

Of course, the leftist American media generally rushed to defend the booing Mexicans, while abandoning the tush-bound American.

A variety of explanations have been advanced by those wishing to provide cover for the booing:

* Those were not boos, but were demands for "booze" from thirsty Mexicans who had been forced to survive without alcohol for as long as two hours;

* Smith brought the scorn on herself by speaking English, a real no-no in a nation where Spanish and or Mexican are the only two authorized languages;

* Those chants were actually cheers for President "Boosh," in gratitude for his hair-brained scheme to move the U.S.-Mexican border 400 miles north of Minneapolis-St. Paul in order to legalize all of Mexico in one fell swoop.

According to Dubya, this is good for America because it will eliminate the need for another round of comprehensive immigration reform five years from now when an additional 60 million Mexican illegal aliens will have invaded the U.S.;

* Every one of the boos was richly deserved because of America's racist and bigoted notions on immigration. Actually this is from Dubya's latest attack on conservatives, those irresponsible rascals who dare to believe that borders, language, culture, and homeland security are more important more than cheap fruit.

And the most logical explanation of all: Those loco Mexicans booed Rachel Smith because of "American envy," a common malady afflicting Mexicans who yearn to live in America and who hate themselves for being born south of the border.

Loco, indeed!

Satire By Lillpop

In an unprecedented shakeup in the American feminist movement, two female intellectuals have shredded their bras in dramatic protests of authority and establishment norms.

Rosie O'Donnell, America's foremost lesbian and military expert specializing in Middle East warfare and Islamic culture, has walked away from her gig on The View television show in an apparent spat with straight producers, colleagues and sponsors.

O'Donnell is expected to accept a position with Understanding and Accepting Gay and Lesbian Whales, a non-profit dedicated to identifying and tagging gay and lesbian whales in order to protect that species from extinction.

In a clever backup financial strategy, O'Donnell has authorized a biography of her life, to be titled the same as the aforementioned non-profit. Forward to be penned by her "wife," with a film deal in the works.

Meanwhile, in another devastating jolt to the Democrat party and Crawford, Texas, that city's second dullest knife has decided to abandon national politics.

Cindy Sheehan used the Memorial Day holiday to announce her resignation from the Democrat party and from her prominent role as an anti-war fascist.

Sheehan was a national peacenik figure who specialized in cameo appearances on leftist news shows just outside the Bush ranch. This leftist nut case apparently became disenchanted with the corrupt American political system that allows a president with an approval rating of 30 percent to veto a bill of surrender to the enemy.

Sheehan is rumored to be negotiating with editors at the San Francisco Chronicle to usurp Sean Penn as the Chronicle's resident war correspondent, cultural expert, and backup delivery person to cover vacations, sick days, and other absences by City paper boys.

The really big question: What will the O'Donnell-Sheehan brain drain mean to the overall war on terror, American economy, and future of the republic?

Democrat operatives are playing down the probability of any short-term catastrophe. Said one: "Remember, we still have Nancy Pelosi on our side!"

And so it is when one hits bottom: Nancy Pelosi is one's last hope!

As a lifelong Los Angeles Dodgers fan, I am genetically at odds with anything and everything associated with "our" archrivals, the San Francisco Giants.

My disaffection for all things SF Giants includes the club's superstar, the insufferable Mr. Bonds. Barry Bonds.

Number 25, left fielder. Alleged to be an adulterer, and tax and steroids cheat to boot.

Mind you, I concede that Bonds is one of the greatest hitters in baseball history. With or without steroids, Bonds could hit that ball!

Even so, if stories of his steroid use are true, Bonds must not be allowed to surpass Henry Aaron's career home run total of 755 which is the most prized individual record in all of sports.

At the end of play on May 26, Bonds had a grand total of 745 homers, just eleven short of passing Aaron.

However, that is the same total that Bonds had on May 8, nearly three weeks ago. In fact, BB has not even driven in a run over that period.

For nearly three weeks, Barry Bonds has acted his age; he will be 43 on July 24.
In most walks of American life, 43 is still relatively young. But in professional sports, 43 is old, very old at that.

And Bonds looks very old. He swings at pitches that are not in his power zone, resulting in weakly struck ground balls and fly balls that become easy outs.

Because of gimpy, old knees, BB has become a liability to his team in left field and when "running" the base paths.

Bonds' recent struggles are due to his advancing age, right?

Well, that is not actually the entire story.

Because of my devotion to the "integrity of baseball," a commodity sorely lacking in baseball Commission Bud Selig, I decided to take proactive steps to assure that the most coveted record in all of sports is not besmirched by a steroid scalawag from San Francisco.

On May 9, through the magic of Google search and hi-speed cable, I was able to locate a mystic who, for just compensation, codified what I call the "O'Malley Curse" on number 25.

O'Malley is a family name that used to be synonymous with the Los Angeles Dodgers. As such, anything O'Malley is automatically a powerful antidote to anything SF Giants.

By paying Madam Goolisetry the going rate for a guaranteed curse, I have assured that Barry Bonds will not break Henry Aaron's home run record before baseball's All Star Game which will be played at the Giants' AT&T Park in San Francisco on July 10, 2007.

San Francisco Giants management had hoped to use the All Star game in order to launch a grotesque national "Barry Bonds Day" that would enable the world to celebrate the world's new home run king, while simultaneously setting aside all those unfounded rumors and innuendo about performance enhancing drugs.

All of those plans pre-supposed that Bonds would be over 755 home runs by July 10.

The big question: Will the O'Malley Curse remain in force until July 10?

And what of the rest of 2007 and the home run record?

Madam Goolisetry advises that she can amend the O'Malley Curse to keep Bonds under 755 homers through the end of this season. In order to do so, she will need a larger compensation package.

The next big question: Can the loan to refinance my home fund in time to extend the O'Malley Curse through the end of 2007?

While engaged in hand-to-hand combat with the White House media mob on issues like Iraq, illegal immigration, and Alberto Gonzales, President Bush received an unsolicited poll on the amnesty scheme now before congress.

As shown in the video at the link below, the sparrow selected "bird sh**" as the word best describing Dubya's dumb deal with Democrats!

As one would expect from a boy raised out in the country, Dubya used his right hand, rather than a handkerchief or tissue, to clean the spot from his suit.

One can only hope that the next person to shake the president's hand was a liberal Democrat.

Here:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c28_1180051991

Just in time for Memorial Day, America, land of the free and home of the brave and the best hope for all of humankind, appears to have died.

Although conservatives have been warning of the imminent death of our constitutional republic for some time, the death still comes as a shock to many.

The cause of death appears to be abuse by the executive branch, although the Bush administration has refused comment to date.

All that is known for sure is that on May 9, 2007, President George W. Bush signed a presidential directive that would grant dictatorial powers to the office of the president in the event of an emergency.

And who would be authorized to declare such an emergency?

Hard to believe, but that would be the same person to whom those dictatorial powers would accrue; namely, the president.

The presidential directive, titled the National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive, apparently has no provision for congressional oversight whatsoever.

Dr. Jerome Corsi of WorldNetDaily authored an exclusive commentary on Bush's extraordinary power grab. That commentary can be seen at the following link:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=55824

The directive itself can be viewed at: http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2007/05/20070509-12.html

Allowing dictatorial powers to end up in the hands of a termed-out president
with approval ratings hovering around 30 percent probably does not pass the Civics 101 smell test.

Even worse, this president's woes are compounded by an extremely unpopular war, a hostile congress including members of his own party, and an amnesty scheme that could destroy American sovereignty, language, and culture by legalizing 12-30 million third world illegal aliens.

Given the political realities that George W. Bush faces, one cannot help but wonder if the president's May 9 directive will, in effect, also serve as a death certificate for the most successful and prosperous society in recorded human history?

Satire

Recanting their earlier bill of surrender to Al-Quaeda and Osama bin Laden, Democrats in the United States Congress led by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi formally surrendered to the American people.

In a stunning retreat from earlier positions, liberals agreed to remove pork spending and time lines from the Iraq war-funding bill so that crucial weapons, equipment, and supplies can be provided to American troops stationed in harms way 8,000 miles from home.

Having surrendered with humiliation and utter shame, Speaker Nancy Pelosi stole a tactic from her favorite book, "The French Guide to Surrender for Dummies," and immediately declared victory.

"I think it's a giant step to begin the end of this war," said the speaker, obviously suffering the deleterious effects of botox poisoning on the human brain.

Officials are expecting a final bill to be ready for Bush's signature right after congress returns from Memorial Day vacation.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, beltway insider Jasgiopl Heopqzerroai reports that the White House has requested that all the major networks provide live coverage of the presidential signing of the funding bill.

Apparently President Bush plans to thank Democrats for their support and hail the bill as an example of how bipartisan cooperation is good for America, our troops, and the war to defeat terrorism.

Heopqzerroai added that Bush tacticians have dusted off that old "Mission Accomplished" sign and will place said sign directly behind Reid, Pelosi, and other enemies of America at the signing ceremony.

This development confirms the old adage that Duyba repeats time and time again: "Don't Mess With Texans!"

" alt="" />

Any American citizen who has had the misfortune of locking horns with the IRS in a dispute over income taxes realizes that the experience can be both frightening and costly.

IRS agents are notorious for being hard-nosed, merciless creatures who seem to delight in nailing taxpayers to the wall either for willful cheating, or if there is no other choice, benign clerical oversights.

Rumor has it that agents who send the greatest number of taxpayers to prison receive large commission bonuses and lucrative perks.

So while you cool your heels in a prison cell because a malfunctioning PDA caused you to understate your income, be consoled by the fact that the stalking agent who sent you there was probably rewarded with honored parking privileges at IRS headquarters for a fortnight, perhaps longer.

The point is that the federal government takes income taxes damn seriously and woe unto those who do not report all income or pay all taxes owed.

At least that is the case when it comes to citizens and those here legally

However, if you just happen to be an illegal alien who has filed no income tax returns or paid no taxes, and are concerned about how that untidy fact might effect your amnesty plans, fret not!

The amnesty bill originally sent to Dubya by congress required illegal aliens to pay all back taxes owed as part of amnesty, but Dubya decided it would be too complex and time-consuming to ask invading criminals to do what American citizens are required to do.

So the tax pay back provision was stripped from the bill as described in the World Net Daily story.

Once again, America's anti-American president has gone the extra mile to reward millions of invading criminals by kicking citizens in the groin.

How much more of this nonsense can sane people be expected to tolerate?

They are concerned about what? Borders? Language? Culture? LOL!

By John W. Lillpop

May 18, 2007

President George W. Bush
Members of the United States Congress

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen:

Patriotic Americans all across our great land are flying the American flag upside down this morning, at least metaphorically, to signify that our once great nation is under attack and in severe distress.

At issue is nothing less vital than homeland security, rule of law, American sovereignty, and preservation of American language and culture, all of which are threatened by the latest amnesty legislation that appears to be gaining some acceptance in Washington, D.C.

Although the term amnesty has been carefully avoided, the fact is that the proposed legislation would legalize millions of illegal aliens who have thumbed their noses at U.S. borders and immigration laws for their own selfish purposes.

The proposed amnesty would reward these criminals, while millions of others across the globe are penalized for obeying the law.

President Bush and prominent members of the U.S. Congress are promising that the new legislation will improve border security and reduce illegal immigration. One senator from Pennsylvania even went so far as to suggest that the bill would restore “rule of law” to immigration.

With all due respect to the gentleman, simply legalizing illegal behavior hardly qualifies as a credible way to restore rule of law.

Ladies and gentlemen, the latest proposal indicates that either you are not listening or we are not shouting loud enough.

Just to make sure that our views are clearly understood, please be advised that we the people are FED UP with the attempt to undermine American sovereignty, homeland security, and culture.

In short, we the people are:

FED UP with the refusal of the federal government to secure our borders at time of war.

FED UP when armed Mexicans illegally cross our borders and assault Americans, yet our government takes no action, and refuses to even protest.

FED UP when Americans defending the U.S. from drug smuggling illegal aliens are sent to federal prison, while invading criminals are to be forgiven via amnesty for violating our borders and laws.

FED UP with the fact that upwards of 30 million illegal aliens are currently in America, costing taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars every year.

FED UP with a president who orders thousands of young Americans into harm's way thousands of miles from home, but who refuses to secure America.

FED UP with politicians who refuse to enforce immigration laws and who claim it is "impossible" to deport criminals here illegally.

FED UP with illegal aliens who can not and/or will not speak English.

FED UP with taxpayer dollars being wasted to print documents in foreign languages.

FED UP with illegal aliens who dump their medical bills on the backs of U.S. taxpayers, but who send $30-40 billion a year back to Mexico each year.

FED UP with the fact that providing free medical services to illegal aliens drives hospitals out of business, making those facilities unavailable to American citizens for whom the medical centers were intended.

FED UP with our schools being invaded by non-English speaking children who impede the learning process of students who genuinely belong here.

FED UP with the fact that federal, state, and local penal systems are overrun by illegal aliens, again costing taxpayers billions each year.

FED UP with the fact that, on average, illegal aliens kill 12 Americans every day.

FED UP with the fact that the overwhelming majority of felony crimes being investigated in Los Angeles have been committed by illegals from Mexico.

FED UP with politicians who refuse to round up and deport millions of illegal aliens who are destroying American culture and language.

FED UP with politicians who pamper illegal aliens with driver's licenses and free public services, which encourage even more invaders to come to America.

FED UP with the attempted Mexicanization of America. Mexico is a third- world slum, and we are FED UP with those who want America to be like Mexico!

Finally, Mr. President and members of the U.S. Congress, we the people are FED UP with those who consistently work on behalf of illegal aliens and the state of Mexico, and against the interests of the American people!

Please do not underestimate the dissatisfaction and rage swelling in the hearts of patriotic Americans on this vital issue.

We the people DEMAND our great country back!

Just say no to amnesty!

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.

Mine is not, of course.

After all, she brought moi into the world and ever since that joyous occasion, the joint has not been the same.

For gifting the world with me, my mum deserves the eternal gratitude of the entire planet. I sort of appreciate her good works as well, even if she did spend most of her pregnancy in devout prayer for a bouncing baby girl.

Sorry, dear mum, but the Lord gave me what he gave me, from head to toe with all vital parts in between. What you see is what you get, holy prayer or not!

Thank God my folks were dirt poor, or dear mum might have tried to have me plumbing altered to suit her gender bias.

Why in the world she wanted a Joan instead of a John is still a mystery. In any event, I sort of got even with her by refusing to put the toilet up until two days after her funeral.

At that point, it seemed the logical thing to do, since she was no longer around to swab the bathroom floors, and I positively gag at the sight and smell of stagnant urine and mops.

Mind you, I am not adamantly opposed to transsexual conversions, except when the object of the surgeon’s knife is that which I hold dear and true.

In California, we call it a man’s Royal American, and ain’t no way mine is going to end up as a replacement part for some whacked out broad who is suffering from terminal Penis Envy!

But what about those mothers whose offspring bring agony, rather than joy, to the globe?
I am thinking of those who gave birth to Hillary Clinton, Dennis Kucinich, and other left wing monsters, for example.

Should the women who bore and raised these brats be praised or flogged in public?

For the woman responsible for foisting Nancy Pelosi on an innocent America, which is more appropriate: A dozen red roses and a pound of chocolates, or public stoning?

Happy Mother’s Day!