Dear God: Please Send Global Warming ASAP
February 7th, 2007 by John W LillpopJohn W. Lillpop
I just scrambled from out of doors down here in San Jose, California
where the bitter wind and cold bring back awful memories of night baseball at Candlestick park in San Francisco in July or August.
Of course, the wicked wind and cold are all the fault of G.W. Bush and his non-green Texas-style BBQs.
Actually, recent research indicates that expulsions of intestinal gas (farts) by cows may be a major cause of global warming. So by slaughtering and frying as many cattle as he does, Duyba, and not Al Gore, should receive the Nobel Peace prize for environmental nicety.
But back to California: Because of environmental concerns, one can no longer toss a log or two into the fireplace to generate heat. Sweaters, jackets, gloves, ear muffs, head scarves, and windbreakers come, at least partially, from animals butchered for unseemly profit by right-wing capitalists. So they are out!
What, then, is one to do?
How about praying for a good blast of global warming? Make that prayer to a non-denominational, non-offensive god, of course!
John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal, "clean and sober" since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are actually considered normal!